


A Touch Too Far

by miss_trilby



Category: British Comedy RPF, Would I Lie To You? RPF
Genre: Awkward Flirting, First Time, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:32:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1537667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_trilby/pseuds/miss_trilby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've just finished taping the world famous  tea/coffee rumbling episode of 'Would I Lie To You?' (Series 6 Episode 7) Yep, you know the one, and David thinks Lee has taken it too far...cue the angry logic...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Touch Too Far

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story, please watch my video 'That Mitchell and Mack Vibe' on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obSYF7uNLzc  
> Hope you like it xx

The applause died down as they made their way out of the studio. Despite his attempts to propel himself ahead of the others, David found himself shoulder to shoulder with Lee in the bustle of the corridor.

“Fancy the pub?” Lee asked, “There’s a couple of us going down the...”

“What the _fuck_ was all that about?” David hissed before he could stop himself. Lee’s mouth opened a fraction but David silenced him with his hand  
“In fact, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

David wondered if he should have played it cool, but it was too late now and he wouldn't have known how anyway. He picked up the pace, desperate to put some distance between himself and his co-Captain. Conversation was probably best avoided at the moment, and obviously eye contact was out of the question. Yes, running away was the best option available and would at least preserve his last few shreds of dignity. He was making decent progress until a member of the sound crew walking in the opposite direction managed to get right in his way and cause that whole awkward left, right, left dance in which David found himself apologising profusely, and by which time Lee had caught up with him.

"Writing your own comedy sketches again, David?" Lee teased, which made Rob laugh unkindly, which in turn made Lee want to punch him. ‘Fuck’ David thought, 'I can't even walk down a corridor without looking like an idiot.'

Although he could sense Lee's eyes on him, he managed to reach his dressing room without further embarassment, entered and shut the door firmly behind him. He stood there looking at the wall, breathing heavily.

Of all the ridiculous lies Lee had ever had to read out, that had to be one of the most absurd! There had been absolutely, positively no conceivable reason whatsoever for him to drag the whole debacle out like that, and involve _him_ in the facade in such a way and in front of everyone...with his mouth open...and to do it twice! And then to touch, no... stroke his thigh as he did it! The audacity! It wasn’t even as if he did it to get a bigger laugh because no-one could see that! No, he’d done it purely to embarrass him, to watch him die wordlessly on stage. And ‘die’ he had! He could still feel the warmth of Lee’s skin through his thin shirt ...the way the heat crept up over his chest and neck and into his throat suffocating his clever words and leaving him with , well...He could hear his own pathetic nasal voice...

‘You have a very warm ear’

Is that what he’d said? Christ! He took a deep breath and sighed. With any luck they’d leave it on the cutting room floor, or the digital equivalent...whatever that was, and save everyone the embarrassment. Shame they couldn’t do the same for his memory. He’d never live this down. Lee would always know now.

There was a sudden knock on the door,

“Can I come in?”

David’s stomach rolled at the sound of Lee’s voice. He remembered the faint, spicy scent of his cologne in such unnatural proximity. The way Lee’s eyes toyed with him as he played out that whole charade with Rob and Hew, making him wait for the humiliation he'd known was inevitable.

He’d been hard even then.

"It's not _can_ I come in, it's _may_ I come in " David shouted, "And the answer is an unequivocal NO. Go away."

The door opened a fraction and Lee’s head appeared. He didn't smile but his eyes danced the way they did before he delivered a punch-line.

“No need to be unfriendly, David. Just wondered if you fancied a tea or a coffee?”

Yep. Well of course that's what he'd say! David glared at him cynically, secretly admiring his ingenuity. Lee searched for that familiar smile pulling at the corners of David’s mouth, but could find no trace.

“Not funny Lee” David said flatly, “What do you want?”

He silently berated himself for asking the question. He knew he was inviting further conversation, and it bothered him that some part of him wanted to keep Lee from leaving.

Lee crept into the room and closed the door behind him. He watched David stand there examining a non-existent speck on his lapel and attempting to pick it off.

“Is this about...?” Lee began. He broke off and pushed his hands into his trouser pockets, rocking back on his heels and looking towards the ceiling. “Because if it is...well, I’m sorry.” His voice was a little playful. “I didn’t realise it would make you...give you a...” He nodded meaningfully towards the front of David’s trousers.

David turned away quickly, grimacing. He crossed the room and sat down in the chair at his dressing table. He had fully intended to put his back to Lee, only now he realised, with disgust that not only could they still see each other in the mirror, but now Lee could view his embarrassment from more than one angle. He fumbled hastily with a pack of hand wipes.

“No-one saw” Lee said, “I only saw coz I was so close to...to it.”

David managed to rip out a small damp tissue and began to rub at his face vigorously, anything to keep his hands occupied.

“Well, thank you for acknowledging my erect penis. You may close the door on your way out.”

Lee remained where he was. A few moments passed. David broke the silence.

“Blasted makeup! Why they insist on putting this stuff on my face is beyond me! ‘David your skin tone does not meet the criteria required for that of a comedy panel show, therefore we’re going to plaster it in some toxic shit you won’t be able to remove afterwards unless you take half your face with it and’...”

“Was it me?” Lee said.

“What?!”

“Was it me that caused ...you know, when I ...when I touched you... down there?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” David blurted looking round quickly as if to double-check there was no-one else in the room. “You? Hah!... I’m not gay you know!”

“I know” Lee replied softly, and then added as an afterthought “Me neither.”

“I know”

It was as if they hadn’t known each other years, but Lee persisted. He had to.

“But you still...Why?”

David sighed, “Yes Lee, I know. Must you _insist_ on going on about it?...I don’t know, maybe because...because I’ve not had any ...well...sex in ages if you must know and well, maybe Sarah’s tits and...and...You didn’t have to go down on me a second time!”

There was a pause whilst they both considered the implications.

“I didn’t mean...” David began.

“Yeah I know.” Lee cut in quickly. Then he grinned suddenly “Funny though wasn’t it?”

David sighed. “Well the audience certainly seemed to think so.” He shook his head. “That’s all that matters to you, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter who is...is humiliated along the way, as long as Lee Mack gets his laugh then it’s all okay!” Even as he spoke the words David knew he was being unfair.

“Steady on David, I’m just doing my job.”

David grunted and his self-loathing cranked up a notch.

"You could at least look at me.” Lee said.

“Why? So you can enjoy mocking me further? So you can take pleasure from my discomfiture? So you can watch me die inside!?"

"Well, that wasn't my intention" Lee began, "But when you say things like 'discomfiture' it makes me want to reconsider."

"The audience have gone home, Lee. No-one's laughing."

"I'm just saying. It's probably not even a real word."

David sighed. "Shouldn't you be going? They'll be waiting for you."

Lee couldn't give a stuff who was waiting for him.

"It's all because I touched you, isn't it?" Lee said. "Admit it."

David said nothing. He felt the blood rush to his face as he remembered the feel of Lee's hand sweeping his upper thigh. A warm, teasing palm sliding gently up and over his swollen cock. Out of view of the cameras, hidden by the desk and Lee's jacket like a dirty secret. His stomach fluttered. It had been the closest he'd ever been to coming in his trousers.

"OK, I shouldn't have done it!" Lee blurted. " I got carried away with all the laughter and shit...I'm an idiot. But I didn't do it to embarrass you David. I'd never do that. I promise you."

"I was uncomfortable.” David sulked, still refusing to look up.

“You’re uncomfortable a lot of the time to be fair,” Lee pointed out "As a matter of fact, you make rather a good living out of it.”

Lee’s quick, Northern wit made David’s cock ache.

“It wasn't just the...the touching. It was the whole build-up!” David said, making a point of ignoring him. “We both knew that when you were working your way _slowly_ towards me using Rob and Hew to stretch the _whole_ thing out, that when you _eventually_ got to me you wouldn’t be able to resist making a _huge_ fucking deal out of it and make me look like a right twat. I mean... _miming_ some sort of...of _oral fornication_! How could you, Lee?!"

“I’m sorry.” Lee said genuinely, fighting the urge to smile. “I didn’t mean to make you look like a twat...And you didn’t! I mean you really didn’t, honestly! No-one saw! Hew and Sarah I mean.”

“They saw my face!” David cried, “Everyone saw my face!

“If it helps, you didn’t look like you had a hard-on.”

“Well... Thank you.”

There was silence and David continued to scrub at his forehead for a moment before throwing the damp cloth on to the table in exasperation.

“It’s water-proof”  Lee volunteered

“What?!”

“The make-up” he said, nodding towards the discarded cloth. “How do you not already know this?”

“Oh, well forgive me!" David said scornfully, " I forgot it was a panel show in a swimming pool.” Then less scornfully: “I normally get someone to do this for me.”

“It’s in case you cry laughing at my jokes.” Lee said smirking, to which he searched David’s face for some small sign of approval.

David refused to give it. He glanced up at Lee and caught the twinkle in his eyes. _‘Why do you have to be so amazing?’_ he thought.

“Why do you have to be so infuriating?” He said instead.

"ME infuriating?" Lee said, "You work with Rob Brydon and you think I'M infuriating?!"

Lee saw then, the faintest glimmer of a smile, and with it a small window of opportunity. He walked the few paces towards David and placed a hand on his shoulder. David’s cock jumped at his touch. _Please God, not now._

Lee considered the previous couple of hours. He'd performed in an almost euphoric state, spellbound as always by David’s cut-throat wit. His laughter genuine, fuelled by awe and unfulfilled lust. He’d gone all-out to be funny in return. Sometimes he forgot the audience were even there. His sole aim...to make David laugh, like properly laugh, where his eyes sparkled and he did that spontaneous hand clap and threw his head back. Quite often, it was all he cared about.

“You thought I was funny tonight” Lee said randomly, forgetting that David couldn’t hear his internal monologue. “I make you laugh.”

David looked up before he could stop himself and held his gaze in the mirror. It surprised him that Lee even thought about making him laugh. He also didn’t wish to feed his ego.

“Sometimes.”

“You try to make me laugh too” Lee said, imagining David in full rant mode; his beautifully cross face, the spots of colour that emerged on his cheeks, that floppy bit of hair that fell over his forehead and across his left eyebrow. Oh God, how he longed to run his fingers through David’s hair. His hand was close...he could just...

His hand went to his own hair instead.

“Well, of _course_ Lee." David said, "There has to be _some_ kind of a rapport!”

He watched Lee put a hand to his hair and stroke that cute little pointy bit at the front that he was so fond of playing with; an action David always found so erotic. That was it. He was properly stiff now, throbbing against the seam of his trousers. Bloody fantastic.

Lee felt agitated. How did he explain this to David? Christ! He hadn’t even got his own head around it yet! He took a breath.

“Is that all it is then... rapport?” He couldn’t go back now. He pretended to be interested in a spot of damp on the ceiling, and waited.

David considered the way Lee dragged out the last word, as if 'rapport' was the last possible reason they were so good together. But he couldn't mean...? No. he was undoubtedly reading too much into it as per usual. Knowing Lee, he was probably plotting the verbal equivalent of a water pistol in the face. David braced himself.

“What are you saying, Lee?”

“I don’t know. I suppose I’m saying that just maybe...it’s more.” There, he had said it, and he shouldn’t have had to really. As if he hadn't told him clear enough already, up there in the studio in front of everyone...on camera for fucks sake!

_‘No, I want to do it to you, coz I think that’s what you want.’_

Could he have been any clearer?! David was supposed to be a genius, how could he misread _that_?

_‘It’s a will they won’t they panel game and finally it comes to this!’_

He hadn’t intended to be so blunt, and the audience for some reason found it hilarious, but the flirting had been going on for SO long and the moment had just sort of presented itself. How could he NOT KNOW?!

Lee thought about all the times he ripped into David. If he could make him out to be some sort of pampered, over-privileged wanker, out of touch with the 'real world' the audience devoured it, and David would sit there and take it with that smug little half smile on his face, the atmosphere building until that inevitable moment where he'd explode in a torrent of sarcasm and cynicism and beautiful, clever words (with a few dirty ones mixed in) and knock Lee clean off his working-class pedestal. These moments left Lee breathless and fighting the urge to leap over the desk and crawl across the studio to get at him.

Could he tell him? Could he really tell him without an audience to make light of it? He had to, or what was the alternative? Another six series waiting for an opportunity to touch him again? He knew that look David gave him as they wrestled each other with words. He knew what desire looked like. Then again, he could be wrong.

Silence filled the room, in which they could hear each other breathe.

"I think you know what I'm saying, David."

David turned his chair slowly to face Lee and their eyes locked. David noticed Lee's breathing had quickened and his face was flushed.

Usually, David enjoyed filing away, for future contemplation, every precious innuendo Lee made and every joke that implied, no matter how subtle, that there might be something between them . Now, without the giddy guffaws of the studio audience to bring him down to earth he wasn’t at all sure what to make of anything.

"Not exactly."

Lee licked his lips suddenly and his eyes flitted around the room.

"Don't suppose you've got any whisky have you?...

No?...

vodka?..."

David shook his head

"Paint stripper...?"

"Afraid not" David said

Lee turned back slowly and looked David right in the eyes. He breathed in sharply through his nose...

"Okay...Then why don't we just fuck, and you understand what I'm saying."

There was another pause which felt like an eternity to Lee.

David stood up slowly until his face was inches from Lee's. "Are you winding me up?” he said and then immediately regretted it. “It’s just...Well it’s hard to tell with you sometimes.”

Lee looked into his huge chocolate eyes and he needed David’s soft, wet, clever mouth around his aching cock more than he’d ever needed anything.

“What do _you_ think?” Lee said softly, indicating the tent in his trousers. Funny, in his fantasies it was usually always the other way round; him on his knees in front of David, usually on stage, at David’s desk, sort of the way he had simulated only without Rob and the audience and the hysterical laughter. Occasionally it was here in David’s dressing room all making each other laugh and ripping at each other’s clothes and then fucking desperately on the floor, on this carpet, hard and rough.

 

David looked down, drinking in the delicious, satisfying sight of Lee’s arousal.

“Well, it makes me feel better about mine.” he said, and Lee smiled at that and David felt giddy like he might pass out, and then Lee kissed him.

It was soft and gentle and only a bit weird, and then Lee’s hands were tangled in David’s hair, taking control. Mouths locked together, hot, wet, urgent, and David's beard felt soft against Lee's chin and also strange and forbidden.

"We could go to mine... if ...if you like." David panted against Lee's mouth. Lee began to walk David backwards towards the wall where he could press him and undress him and worship him with his mouth and make David moan and swear and thrash about like he did in every fantasy he'd ever had since he met this man. He needed to see him, hear him, feel him lose control, and he needed it right now.

David hit the wall hard, handfuls of his hair twisted in Lee's fist, "Or h...here.." he stammered "Here is fine too." And then Lee's hard cock was rubbing up against his own through the fabric of their trousers and he heard a voice that sounded like his, pleading with Lee to fuck him now and fuck him hard and Lee had to silence him with a hand over his mouth because he knew for certain that Rob was in his dressing room next door.

Then Lee put his hands inside David's jacket and pushed it off his shoulders and on to the floor in a crumpled heap. David didn't attempt to pick it up and Lee took this as a good sign, pushing David to the floor, his fingers scrabbling urgently at his belt and trouser zip.

"But.. But we've not finished the series." David panted.

"Shh" Lee murmured taking out David's cock, his hot, hungry mouth sucking him in, balls deep. David's hips bucked and he moaned like a whore and then  "It's just... _Oh God_...Won't it be weird?" 

Reluctantly Lee pulled his mouth off David, leaving his cock swollen and glistening. He hauled himself slowly up to David's eye level.  He looked into David's eyes; all dark, and big...so big.

"Probably" he rasped. "But I bet I'll still make you laugh...Now, for fucks sake Mitchell, shut that posh little mouth of yours, or I swear I'll stick my cock in it!"

David grinned and for a brief, self-indulgent moment he wondered what the audience would make of _that_ particular line, and then Lee's hot mouth was on him again sucking him deep, and he was gasping and moaning and losing control just as Lee had hoped.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
